Wednesday, May 21, 2008

not pregnant and yet continuing to gain weight DESPITE coming off fat inducing drugs in order to get pregnant. and therefore fat. but with a purpose. and an end date. an excuse for being fat.

see, i was pregnant. so i came off my meds. then i had to go straighten some things out with work and negotiate my new contract. but because i was pregnant and this would be the year that P was from 3 days of pre school to 5 days of big school, i thought i didn't want to be away from home so much. didn't want to be a hundred miles away and missing breakfast and dinner with her and especially didn't want to be travelling all those hours as the pregnancy advanced. so i gave up my job. my job that was half our household income. and a huge part of my identity. and my independence. and then i wasn't pregnant anymore. and then i went back on my meds. and then i came off them again because if i was goingto have another baby then sooner was infinitely better than later because i'm getting nearer to 40 and because the sooner i get pregnant, the sooner i won't be pregnant anymore and will able to take my meds again. and will be able to participate in the world. and go out of the house. if there are ever any clothes to fit me. i didn't get my period on monday, which should have meant baby in january, meds by february. which is good, right? because february is always hard. but sore boobs and tearyness at game shows didn't mean baby. it meant my period was two days late. that's all.

6 Comments:

At 8:08 pm, May 21, 2008, Blogger HerImperialMajesty said...

oh the cunning suck suck sucky-ness of life.

Frankly i'm only finding 2 things that work right about now (barring tea and hugs and ginger biccies that i didn't ought to eat due to my ass's world domination plans and the beige,yes beige trousers i have to wear tomorrow)

Back to the things that work:
Pilates
This is actually my body. And i'm really in here. And i'm actually driving it around. Definitely. For an hour a week, if not more.

Mint magnums.
THey are yummy. they resolve no issues and in fact add to the vastness of my bottom but who cares. Darn tooting tasty, which crunchy bits.

And on that trivial note i send air snogs of usefulness thru the ether towards you.

 
At 8:40 pm, May 27, 2008, Blogger lildb said...

goddAMMIT.

i ran a mile today. one. whole. mile.

because my therapist says i ought to do such things.

fucking therapists.

love you.

 
At 10:12 am, May 30, 2008, Blogger HerImperialMajesty said...

I am AGLOW with GLEE that you're coming to town tomorrow and heartily look forward to hanging out with my best minxy ladies in our nation's great capital. I'm off to do an anti-rain dance in the shower so that won't need wellies to enjoy our day

 
At 7:52 am, June 04, 2008, Blogger HerImperialMajesty said...

It appears to have stopped raining.
Although I am typing that in a whisper, just in case!

 
At 4:10 am, June 05, 2008, Blogger lildb said...

i miss you.

 
At 3:12 pm, June 20, 2008, Blogger Lisa said...

Oh those fucking periods. Am hoping biology soon complies with what your heart desires.

 

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