I am a bad bad selfish person.One of my close friends from university is (finally after 12 years with 'groom') getting married. I don't know why we're friends. Or why we've stayed friends.
I am absolutely nothing like all her other friends, who are charming people, but demure, ladylike, fashion conscious, well groomed, swotty, I have nothing to say to these people. Our birthdays are a week apart.
I love her but she drives me crazy, if each or either of us a a little stressed, we're the last people we should be around. anyway, she's getting married. a childhood friend from her village (a few years younger) is organising the hen do. she emailed a bunch of us a while ago to ask us to reserve dates for the obligatory weekend away. I have emailed her twice in the affirmative, but because i did not use the exact sentence "Yes I will be available and would be delighted to come thankyou so much for thinking of me" I get this:
I look forward to hearing from you????
I get chastised for a couple of jokes about hen weekends and failure to use the specified acceptance sentence??
AND. also. spa weekend? MY IDEA OF HELL - not even for a fruit basket, baby! And, the woman has two degrees and has just come back from a sabbatical in which she backpacked for six months, how can she not know any drinking games??????????????
Is it conceivable that I could NOT go ? I'd be the worst friend ever, right? please? somebody?
In other news, the news that relates to the biscuit half of the title to this post, I am about to be unemployed. It's official. Well. Nearly official. Over the last couple of months my boss and one of her henchwomen have told me on at least four separate occasions that I'm out the door as part of the restructure. THat i'm out the door because there's no money left for the department (and reminding me that she's also likely out the door her poor self)(and reminding everyone else that she's out the door and ONLY getting a year's salary as pay off after giving it her 'all' for three years) that the products I currently work on are to be cut right back, that i'm too expensive and that if they did want someone it certainly wouldn't be someone who was only part time. we had a meeting about it last week. and the week before that. just after christmas she told me about it in the FUCKING LOBBY of our building, and the time before that she told me as I was getting in the lift to leave at 6pm one evening.
I took some legal advice, and apparently they can do pretty much anything to me with no comeback on account of my having been there less than a year.
This is all very interesting. Today I got a letter to my home address from a human resources adviser, inviting me to attend a "Risk Meeting." At this meeting she will "detail the reason for the role being at risk" and "confirm the consultation process and review alternative employment options."
The letter doesn't exactly stipulate the compulsory presence of tea and biscuits, but do you think it's safe to assume?
AND FINALLY FOLKS
Salmonella. I don't really recommend it. (other than as highly antisocial and environmentally damaging (a million loads of laundry, floor cleaning products, bathroom cleaning products etc) weight loss programme).